Articles & Trainings

moral injury

Moral Injury Part Two: Self-care Strategies for Clinicians (and their clients)

In a previous blog, Moral Injury Part One, we discussed the differences between workplace burnout and moral injury. While often used interchangeably, the two are markedly different and require a differing approach to addressing and coping with them.

Burnout is the result of chronic workplace stress. It’s not a medical diagnosis, but if left unaddressed could potentially lead to physical and mental health concerns. For more information on burnout including common symptoms read Moral Injury Part One: Are You Experiencing Burnout or Moral Injury?

Moral injury, on the other hand, refers to psychological, behavioral, social and/or spiritual distress that is experienced by individuals who are performing, asked to perform, or exposed to actions that contradict their moral values and personal ethics. Moral injury is being recognized in frontline and healthcare workers of the COVID-19 pandemic.

Symptoms of moral injury could be acute or appear slowly months or years after the event. Symptoms can include:
• Feelings of guilt, shame, disgust, anger
• Self-blame, self-sabotage
• Feeling unworthy
• Feeling detached from sense of self

Note: If you’re feeling severe symptoms such as those related to PTSD, depression, anxiety or substance use issues, it’s important to see a behavioral healthcare provider as soon as you can.

Everyone has individual experiences and may require different strategies to cope with moral injury. What may work for one person may not work for another, and that’s okay. Consider the following:

Lean on existing support systems. Seek support from family, friends, colleagues, and spiritual leaders. Be vulnerable and express your feelings. Often, having a listener is helpful in relieving the burden of our feelings. Also consider reaching out to other support groups locally or even virtually for a place to share your thoughts, feelings, and help others by supporting them.

Create a stress management system. You know yourself best and know what strategies work for you. Common techniques include focusing on proper sleep, a consistent exercise routine, incorporating healthy foods, and a mindfulness practice. Would it be helpful to have an accountability partner? Ask someone from your support system if they will walk around the neighborhood with you a couple times a week. Or discover a new recipe with nutritious ingredients. Consider cooking the meal as a form of mindfulness and allow yourself to get lost in the process.

Slow down. Recognize that you may be in a vulnerable and raw emotional and spiritual place. Remind yourself that this is okay. We all go through traumatic events, witness unethical practices, or are asked to perform duties that go against our very nature. Allow yourself to slow down, feel and process your feelings. Take all the time you need. Healing yourself isn’t a race.

Attend therapy. If you don’t yet attend, we suggest that you start. As a behavioral healthcare provider, you know first-hand the benefits of scheduled therapy sessions. Additionally, it’s likely that your provider will be sympathetic to the effects of moral injury as they may have experienced it before themselves.

Take action. Experiencing moral injury has the potential to detract us from our sense of self. What we believe in, our ethics, our values. Reunite with your inner self by remembering what it is that you believe in. Take time to reflect inwardly on what strengthens your sense of self, your morals and your beliefs. Then take action! Maybe it’s in the form of activism for a cause you care deeply about or volunteering in your community. Determine what’s important to your deepest self, what reinforces your core beliefs, and then, reconnect with it.

 

 

 

Sources: hhs.gov, ncbi.nlm.nih.gov, drpaularedmond.com, mentalhealthfirstaid.com

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Posted on by Author Kayla Quesnelin Categories Understanding Mental Illness

Moral Injury Part One: Are You Experiencing Burnout or Moral Injury?

Your mental and emotional health directly affects your ability to provide quality care to your clients. Healthcare professionals in various industries—and mostly due to factors of the coronavirus pandemic—are feeling guilt, shame and exhaustion, all symptoms of burnout. But are you experiencing something more complicated?

What is Burnout?

First, let’s discuss what burnout is. Burnout is a non-medical diagnosis characterized as a specific type of work-related stress. Burnout causes physical or emotional exhaustion (or both) that typically includes a feeling that you’ve lost your personal identity and sense of accomplishment.
Experts don’t know the cause of burnout, but some believe that depression and other individual factors may be involved.

Signs of Burnout

One person may experience burnout entirely differently from another. Take a few moments to consider these work scenarios to see if you’re experiencing burnout:

  • You feel pessimistic, critical and/or irritable
  • You feel unmotivated, easily distracted, and less productive
  • You don’t feel satisfied by your achievements or your work
  • Your sleep habits have changed (extreme fatigue, insomnia, sleep disturbances)
  • You’re experiencing headaches, stomach aches or other physical ailments
  • You’re using food, drugs or alcohol to feel better or to not feel at all
  • You no longer have energy for the people or things you enjoy

Possible Reasons You May Experience Burnout

Again, reasons of burnout will be different for each individual. Common factors include:

  • Lack of support
  • Unclear job expectations
  • Toxic or dysfunctional workplace environment
  • Lack of work/life balance

You may also be experiencing a heavy workload, excessive or long hours, or having little control over your work or schedule. Unfortunately, if you work in a helping profession, you may be more susceptible to burnout. If you suspect burnout, discuss your feelings and possible options with your supervisor or an HR resource.

You can also seek the advice of a healthcare professional to help address and alleviate any physical or emotional effects that are troubling you. Without intervention, burnout could lead to excessive stress, sleep issues, substance misuse, high blood pressure and higher risk of other health-related conditions.

Identifying with typical job burnout may not be sufficient for those in the helping professions, particularly in the years of the COVID-19 pandemic. This is where moral injury is increasingly getting brought into the conversation.

What is Moral Injury?

Moral injury involves the stressful social, psychological, and/or spiritual effects of having witnessed or participated in behaviors that go against a person’s core beliefs and values.

The term was developed in the 1990s to describe the moral conflicts military professionals were feeling after returning from war zones. Later, it was used to describe healthcare professionals facing similar distressing environments.

In a healthcare setting, burnout is described as a type of “chronic work stress” while moral injury is explained as the “suffering that occurs in response to moral adversity.” Having our beliefs or ethics repeatedly dishonored at our workplace can create undue psychological injury including disrupting how we feel about our individual selves and how we show up in the world.

What does moral injury look like in the helping professions?

Moral injury can occur in any profession but is on the rise in the healthcare industry. Here are some examples of what that may look like:

Feeling a sense of responsibility to make decisions that entail conflicting morals, ethics and values. For example, taking on more clients to meet the needs of your community, despite the caseload size exceeding your typical self-care standard.

Doing something that goes against your beliefs (referred to as an act of commission). Behavioral health care workers may be faced with situations where they need to decide how best to prioritize clients in need of a session (e.g., which clients receive less/more frequent sessions and how to best use limited time when multiple clients need help or when many are waiting for services).

Failing to do something in line with your beliefs (referred to as an act of omission). Moral injury can also develop in behavioral health care workers when they feel unable to provide the type of care requested by the client (e.g., in person session) for sake of their own safety or their families.

Witnessing or learning about an act that goes against your ethics and beliefs.Some may feel guilt and shame because they felt numb in the face of suffering and death. Behavioral health care workers may also witness what they perceive to be unjustifiable or unfair acts or policies that they feel powerless to confront.

Experiencing betrayal by someone you trust. A person who experiences betrayal may also feel anger, resentment, and/or diminished confidence in peers, leaders or organizations.

In behavioral health and mental health professions specifically, moral injury is a common occurrence. However, neither moral injury nor burnout is the fault of an individual, and self-care alone will not eliminate them. If you’re experiencing or have experienced moral injury, consider the following:

  • If you don’t already, attend therapy sessions regularly
  • Connect with colleagues who feel or have felt similarly
  • Take the time to self-reflect often (journal, prayer, meditation, etc.)
  • Stay connected to your true self, beliefs and values
  • Align your personal values with your business’ values
  • If you’re not self-employed, look for a workplace that prioritizes care over quotas and encourages a work/life balance

Clinicians, therapists, and other behavioral health workers are in their line of work because they truly want to help others—but remember that being an impactful, successful, and respected healthcare professional doesn’t need to come at a personal cost.

Self-care for moral injury can be particularly challenging for people working in behavioral health care given that those in the field strongly value caring for others and may prioritize the needs of others over their own. It is often only in conversations with others that we can hear a different, more helpful way to think about or make meaning from morally distressing situations.

On the positive side, there is also evidence that indicates after potentially morally injurious experiences some people develop a redefined meaning in life and, with time and support, begin to incorporate the experience into growth or helping others. Further, some develop new insights about how to help the systems in which they work or that can help them grow in their own work or lives.

Behavioral health care workers, their colleagues, and leaders can use strategies to take care of themselves and each other both during and after potential morally injurious situations, to support recovery and growth.

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Posted on by Author Hanna Gilleyin Categories #EndTheStigma, Advice for Affiliates, Understanding Mental IllnessTagged , , , , , ,

One-day Virtual Training Opportunity: March 14 and March 25, 2022

Parts & People: An Overview of the Internal Family Systems Model

Presented by HAM affiliate Karen Hardy, LCPC, CADC 
Six CEUs (contact hours) 

Monday, March 14
Friday, March 25
8:30 am – 4:00 pm 

About This Training:

An evidence-based model of psychotherapy, Internal Family Systems is a way for people to understand themselves in a deeper way and offer insight about their relationships with others.

This interactive workshop will provide an overview of the Internal Family Systems model. Participants will have the opportunity to do some meditative, introspection work using this model, have the opportunity to ask questions, engage in discussion, and observe a recorded session.

If times allows, a live demonstration may be held for a member to experience the model first-hand while others observe.

Training Details:

Location: Online Event
Time: 8:30 am – 4:00 pm
Dates: Monday, March 14, 2022 OR Friday, March 25, 2022
Cost: $59; FREE for HAM affiliates


Register here for the Monday, March 14 session!

Register here for the Friday, March 25 session!

About the Presenter:

Karen Hardy, LCPC, CADC, worked as a counselor for 20 years at the Connecticut Department of Corrections. Upon her retirement in 2011, she began a Master’s program at Cambridge College in Springfield, MA. She now holds a M.Ed. in counseling psychology.

Much of Karen’s work has been related to addiction and trauma treatments, as she believes there’s a strong correlation between the two issues. She also works with family members affected by a loved one’s addictive behaviors. Her personal experiences offer a unique perspective to her clients; she values each individual as they are and helps them envision an empowered future.

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Posted on by Author Hanna Gilleyin Categories Events

New Year, New Experiences: Are You Ready for Private Practice?

Thinking about opening your own private practice? Way to go! Health Affiliates Maine is proud to help behavioral health professionals as they venture into entrepreneurship, making that potentially overwhelming experience a little easier to navigate.

Signs You’re Ready to Run Your Own Business

Entrepreneurship is not for the faint of heart. However, odds are that if you’ve been thinking about it, you know deep down that you can do this! Here are some signs to look out for when considering if the time is right to strike out on your own:

  • You can think of better, more efficient ways of doing things
  • Your values no longer align with your employer’s or company’s values
  • You feel limited at your current position
  • You want more freedom and flexibility in your lifestyle
  • There’s a strong market or need for your unique services and abilities
  • You’ve outlined or thought about a business plan
  • You have support or know where to find it, such as creating a network of colleagues
  • You believe in yourself and are excited by the idea of owning your own business

Characteristics of an Entrepreneur

Although not everyone wants to run their own business (and that’s okay!), there also isn’t only “one type” of person who would be successful at it. Here’s a list of a few common attributes in entrepreneurs:

  • You’re passionate
  • You’re independent
  • You’re organized
  • You’re not risk-averse
  • You’re resilient
  • You’re not afraid to go it alone or ask for help

If you don’t immediately identify with any of those characteristics, it doesn’t mean that you couldn’t run your own practice if you wanted to. We suggest taking time to reflect inward on why you want your own business, what you would offer and how you would start taking steps to get there.

Feeling ready to open your own private practice? Take a look at five ways you can market your new business. Marketing yourself and your business may sound unnecessary (you already have clients!) but it’s important for maintaining your professional relationships, attracting potential clients, and keeping your new business relevant.

How Not to Become Overwhelmed When Starting a Business

We won’t lie—your private practice won’t happen overnight, and you’ll likely face challenges and hard decisions along the way. When you feel overwhelmed or stressed, try the following:

  • Take a walk or do an exercise workout
  • Try yoga or mediation to calm your nervous system
  • Turn on “do not disturb” on all your devices to limit distractions
  • Consider reaching out to someone in your network for advice or support
  • Mark a day on your calendar that’s just for you (take yourself out to lunch, do errands, go shopping, go the spa, anything to distract yourself from overwhelm and allow yourself to reset)

When running your own private practice, there will be days when you’re firing on all cylinders and other days when you may question your business decisions. Both are normal and a part of being an entrepreneur! Take a few moments to remember your why. Why did you leave your previous employer? Why did you want to be your own boss? Why did you decide to serve clients your way? These answers will remind you of the vision you have for your private practice and will re-inspire you.

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Posted on by Author Hanna Gilleyin Categories Advice for Affiliates, News, Private PracticeTagged , , , , , ,

MHRT/C Domain 3: Ethics & Professional Conduct

This class meets the requirements for Domain 3, Ethics & Professional Conduct, of the Maine MHRT/Community curriculum.

About this event Tickets

 

This class meets Tuesdays and Thursdays from 9:00am-12:15pm from February 1 to March 3, 2022 via Zoom. You must be able to attend all classes.

In this training, we will study the knowledge and application of ethics and professional conduct in your work as an MHRT/C.

The following knowledge competencies will be reviewed:

Knowledge Competencies for Domain 3: Ethics and Professional Conduct

Demonstrate a standard of professionalism and integrity in practice, and confront and resolve ethical challenges by seeking appropriate collaboration and consultation.

  1. Explain ethics and how to conduct practice within the context of a professional code of ethics. Give examples of inappropriate behavior. Define appropriate contexts for dual relationships and how to set and maintain clear, professional, and culturally sensitive boundaries.
  2. Relate the intersection of ethics with state and federal laws.
  3. Define confidentiality requirements and how to communicate these policies to staff, consumers, families, guardians, and others.
  4. Describe the evolution of HIPAA and what constitutes protected health information, including communication requirements within the context of health information technology.
  5. Explain how to secure informed consent from a consumer.
  6. Maintain sound documentation that reflects an adherence to individualized, person-centered care.
  7. Explain a provider’s ethical responsibility to empower consumers.
  8. Identify a number of strategies, consistent with professional practice, to empower consumers.
  9. Collaborate and interact effectively with community members and other professionals.
  10. Describe what it means to be an effective contributing member of an interdisciplinary team.
  11. Model appropriate professional behavior at all times, apply ethical guidelines and demonstrate the effective use of supervision.
  12. Practice using a supervisory relationship to resolve ethical challenges.
  13. Summarize the importance of evaluating the effectiveness of personal practice.
  14. Describe how individuals working in the behavioral health field practice self-care. Utilize supervision effectively to prevent compassion fatigue and vicarious traumatization.

Course Expectations

1. Attendance:

Students must attend each day of class (5 units) and receive an 80% or above on the final exam to earn a certificate of completion. If a student misses a day, they are responsible for arranging to attend the next offering of the missed unit, with either the same trainer or another organization. Unit 5 is optional for students with the required academic preparation.

2. Make‐up work:

Students must attend all five units (or four with a related degree) as stated above, and complete and submit any missed assignments.

3. Class size:

The standardized MHRT/C curricula are interactive. The recommendation is that classes have no fewer than six (6) participants and no more than 20.

4. Class participation guidelines:

  1. Students will arrive on time and stay until the end of the unit (no early dismissals).
  2. Students will demonstrate respect for others. This means:
    • Listening completely before interjecting.
    • Use appropriate pronouns. Respect the pronouns individuals choose for themselves.
    • Use person‐first language. This language puts the individual before the disability. For example, “a person with schizophrenia” or “an individual with bipolar” as opposed to “a schizophrenic” or “bipolar woman” or “mentally ill man.”
    • Use first person language, such as “I” messages. [For example, “I didn’t understand his response to my question” as opposed to “He overreacted to my question.”] This allows students to take responsibility for their feelings and experiences rather than blame them on someone else.
    • Keep personal reflections and stories shared in class confidential.
  3. Cell phone use: Cell phones should be placed on vibrate or silenced at all times during the class. Cell phone calls must be taken in the hallway or in private.
  4. This course requires demonstration of knowledge and skills, therefore, students are expected to participate in all activities.

5. Course evaluations

Participants will receive a link to complete an online evaluation the last day of their training. The Muskie School Center for Learning will summarize the evaluations and share results with the trainers and DHHS/OBH.

About the Presenters:

Marylena Chaisson, LCSW, is a clinical supervisor in the case management program at Health Affiliates Maine. She is a clinical mental health counselor (LCPC) who has worked in rural, under-resourced Maine communities for nearly 20 years both in agency and private practice settings. She also enjoys her work as a Disaster Mental Health contracted trainer for the state of Maine’s Disaster Behavioral Health Team, part of the Maine CDC and Maine DHHS.

Mary Gagnon, LMFT, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and the Training and Clinical Development Specialist for Health Affiliates Maine. Mary has worked in private practice as well as a variety of community mental health settings throughout her career. Her most recent work at Health Affiliates Maine includes oversight of clinicians in private practice and development and facilitation of trainings for schools and conferences throughout the state. She is a certified trainer for Domains 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, and 7 for the MHRT/C Non-Academic Curriculum.

Tickets

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Posted on by Author Randy Runnelsin Categories Events

Maintaining your Mental Health during the Holidays

The holidays can be a time of perpetual joy, faith and connection. However, there are many ways our mental health can worsen during this time. There’s the stress of buying gifts and attending family gatherings. The feeling of loss and nostalgia for those who are no longer with us. And the last two years during the pandemic, a lot of us are feeling more isolated and distanced than ever. But there is hope. You can manage your mental health, stay connected, and lean into the holiday spirit with the following reminders.  

  1. Reset routine: Think about your daily routine. What’s working for you and where can you improve? Keep in mind that your health practices such as eating nutritious foods, exercising regularly, and getting restful sleep are all beneficial to your mental health.  
  2. Boost brain power: Have you ever wanted to learn something new? Maybe it’s yoga, cooking a gourmet meal, or learning a musical instrument. Even 5-10 minutes per day of practicing a new skill or hobby can boost your mental and emotional health and take your mind off any stresses of the season. 
  3. Slow down: The way we gather and celebrate may have changed, but it has also forced us to slow down and take stock of our lives. Allow yourself to move at a slower pace to be more present and mindful of the holiday season. What or who are you grateful for? What memories or events bring you joy this time of year? Writing these things out in a journal or on a notepad and seeing them will help. 
  4. Adjust traditions: The way we come together has changed, but it can be an opportunity to adapt rather than to be upset for how the holidays “should be.” How does this time of year make you feel? Share this with your family (along with their feelings) to see where new traditions can align.
  5. Reach out: We can still be connected while being apart. Keep connected to your loved ones by text, phone or video call, or writing a letter or holiday card. Let them know you’re thinking of them, share how you’re celebrating, and let them know you’ll always be there. 

 

It’s important to recognize that having a mixed bag of emotions during the holiday season is normal and that existent mental health issues can worsen due to holiday stresses. We all may need extra help this holiday season and that’s okay. The following are signs that professional guidance may be necessary:  

  • Fear and worry 
  • Self-isolation 
  • Fatigue, sleep changes 
  • Irritability, mood changes 
  • Impulsive or risky behavior 
  • Worsening chronic health issues 
  • Worsening mental health issues (such as anxiety and depression) • Increase in substance use (such as alcohol, drugs and smoking) 

Sources: hhs.gov, usatoday.com, mayoclinic.org, clevelandclinic.org, nm.org

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Posted on by Author Kayla Quesnelin Categories Tips for Healthy Living, Wellness

Private Practice: Creating a Community of Colleagues

Running your own practice allows you to determine your caseload, clients, and your schedule so that your business aligns with your principles. However, if you’ve had your private practice for a while (or even if you’re just starting out) you may have experienced seasons of isolation or loneliness.

Being a solo entrepreneur has its advantages, but having workplace relationships can offer needed support, camaraderie, and guidance. We know you can go it alone, but you don’t have to for your practice to be successful! Consider our advice on building your community:

Attend trainings, workshops, and other CE opportunities. They will keep you learning and up to date with best practice standards and clinical intervention methods which will benefit your practice. They will also connect you with other mental health professionals that you can bounce thoughts and ideas off with.

Join professional organizations from local, regional, and national chapters. Reach out to small business owners via email, connect with mental health professionals with a similar niche and network during events. Don’t be afraid to make and maintain connections.

Offer consulting services to local businesses and organizations. Think employeeworkshops on interpersonal communications or HR topics such as diversity and inclusion among peers. This will grow your public speaking skills, grow your business, and expand your network and opportunities for referrals.

Submit advice to a local publication or website. Perhaps there’s an expert’s section where readers submit questions looking for professional advice or maybe it’s a monthly column with a guest speaker. Think of the audience of the publication and offer a proposed article that would benefit them.

Teach a class or workshop at a childcare center, community college or corporate event. Important and common topics are stress management, establishing boundaries, and effective communication.

Lean on one another and use colleagues for support. If there’s an individual needing help, but at the moment you are unable to take on new clients, refer them to another in your network. And let them do the same for you!

You started your private practice to serve clients your way. But when you have a community of colleagues lifting you up, your wellbeing, your clients, and your practice will thrive.

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Posted on by Author Hanna Gilleyin Categories Advice for Affiliates, Private PracticeTagged , , , , , , , , ,

New Training Opportunity: Imagining Our Ethical Future in the Helping Profession

Presented by John Yasenchak, Ed.D.

Friday, November 5, 2021 or Friday, November 19, 2021

8:30am-4:00pm

About This Training

There is no doubt that the pandemic has pushed helping professionals toward new levels of technological competence. Every advance in technology raises new levels of ethical awareness. Often, technology seems to outpace the development of ethical standards. Bots, apps, AI, avatars, telehealth—how do we keep up with it all? 



In this workshop, we will look toward the future of the helping professions and examine the impact that technology will have on our practice. We will review basic professional ethical norms, apply them to emerging trends and present a model for ethical decision making. We will also explore the philosophy of transhumanism and how its assumptions impact the fundamental questions our profession has been asking since its inception: “What does it mean to be human? Why should I be ethical?”



Ultimately, this will be an opportunity to reflect on our relationship to technology and its application to mental health and substance use counseling. It will also be an opportunity to reflect on how we view the service we provide in the context of our rapidly changing techno-culture. 

Training Details 

Registration now open!


Location: Online event 

Time: 8:30 am – 4:00 pm

Dates: Friday, November 5, 2021 OR Friday, November 19, 2021 

Cost: FREE for Health Affiliates Maine affiliates
$59 for clinicians not affiliated with HAM

Register here for Friday, November 5 session!

Register here for Friday, November 19 session!

About the Presenter 

John Yasenchak, Ed.D., holds a doctorate in Counselor Education from the University of Maine as well as a masters degree in philosophy, a course he also taught from 1982-1985. He has been teaching graduate counseling courses since 1996 and has been a practicing clinical counselor and supervisor in a variety of clinical settings since 1985. His expertise is in clinical mental health counseling.

Dr. Yasenchak’s experience includes inner city work with co-occurring disorders, university student development, and 20 years as clinical supervisor for a Native American counseling facility. Currently, he provides consultation and training services and is a contributing faculty member of Walden University.

Dr. Yasenchak’s primary areas of interest are in mental health and addictions counseling. He also has specific interests in spirituality and religion in the practice of counseling, as well as in digital ethics.

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Posted on by Author Hanna Gilleyin Categories EventsTagged , , , , ,

Ask the Experts: How Do I Remain Calm When My Littles Don’t Listen?

This article originally appeared in Macaroni Kid on October 1, 2021, by Mary Gagnon, LMFT, and Clinical Development and Training Specialist for Health Affiliates Maine. 

Question: I have three children ages 4, 3, and 6 months. How do I get my 4- and 3-year-olds to listen without raising my voice and losing my temper? My 4-year-old is sensitive and doesn’t respond well to anger.

Answer: Ah, those early years are certainly a challenge! So much growth, so little attention span and capacity for self-regulation.

You’re off to a great start. Self-awareness is one of the most important tools in your parenting toolbox. An awareness of your child’s unique personality traits and tolerances is another. And, of course, most people don’t respond well to anger, nor do you want to spend your time with your children feeling angry. So, what else can you do?

Let’s start with you. Are you taking care of yourself? Having three children under five is a great deal of work, and it absorbs a lot of your time and energy. Make sure that you’re meeting some basic self-care needs: nutrition, exercise, sleep (a tough one with young children, I know), time with family and friends, engagement in meaningful activities (paid or unpaid, hobbies, spiritual fulfillment, etc.), whatever you think you need to feel whole and healthy. You may need to ask for help in getting your needs met. You may feel selfish or like you don’t want to “burden” anyone else, but time for yourself helps you to be a better parent, friend, partner, and so on. It’s a win for everyone.

Envisioning and setting intentions for the day can be very helpful. Knowing what you want out of the day and how you want to be as a parent that day helps your mind walk that path. So, for example, you can say to yourself at the beginning of the day, “Today I want to show my children that they are loved. I’m going to make cookies with them.” If things go awry, remind yourself that plans don’t always work out as you hope, and grant yourself and your children grace and the benefit of the doubt, and that even if the cookies don’t get made, there are many ways to show your children that they are loved.

Now, about your children. They’re in exciting times in their development. The world is a big place, an interesting place, an unknown and sometimes even scary place. They’re newbies in this world, newbies even to their own bodies and minds, and they don’t know how to read the map. It’s our job as parents to help them navigate this brave new world, to help them feel secure enough to explore. If we’re doing our job, then they’ll do just that…and sometimes they’ll go too far and we must pull them in. They won’t always like it (just as we don’t like it when our desires are thwarted), and we’ll have to endure the inevitable challenges to our limit-setting—tantrums. Young children have less experience in the world, less understanding and control of their emotions and bodies, and though we may not appreciate their outbursts, they’re perfectly normal.

Young children, too, aren’t known for their high attention spans. Developmentally, their brains are absorbing many, many things, and they don’t know what to pay attention to. It’s a parent’s job to help them learn what to pay attention to and how to act, physically and emotionally, in the world.

So, how do you do that? Here are a few concrete tips:

  • Speak to them at their level. This is both physical and mental. Get down onto your knees when you talk to them, so that you are eye-to-eye with them. Use words that they understand. Use short sentences that don’t have multiple commands in them (“You need to get dressed, pick up your toys, and eat your breakfast” is a lot for a young brain to process).
  • Use a firm but loving voice. Your voice should be calm and loving, but also confident and firm. You’re their teacher, and you’re teaching them how to act.
  • Touch (or not). Some children find touch comforting and grounding, others find it overstimulating. Look for clues that tell you how your child feels about touch.
  • Warn them of consequences. Tell them what behavior you don’t like and warn them that if the behavior continues, what consequence will occur as a result. Consequences should relate to the behavior when possible (“If you keep pulling the dog’s fur, you won’t be allowed to pat the dog anymore. Use gentle hands, please. Let’s do it together.”).
  • Calmly follow through with consequences. Again, you’re teaching them. Their education should be calm and matter-of-fact.
  • Talk about it later. None of us can talk about an issue when we’re still overly emotional about it. When everyone has calmed down and is more focused, that’s the time to review what happened. Keep it simple (“You pulled the dog’s fur again, and that hurts the dog, so you couldn’t pat the dog anymore. Next time, please use gentle hands with the dog so you don’t hurt him.”)
  • Repetition is your friend. Kids (and adults, too) don’t typically learn something the very first time. They need lots of practice and repetition. This might be a bit tiring for parents, but it’s vitally important to understand that they’re not trying to upset you; they just need more time to learn what you’re trying to teach them.

Remember that everyone has a bad day, children and parents alike. If you do end up raising your voice and losing your temper, take time to apologize to your child and speak calmly about what happened. They may not understand everything you’re saying, but they’ll remember how it felt to have their parent speak to them kindly and acknowledge their mistakes. It’s a wonderful lesson for when they make their own mistakes, giving them both the blueprint for how to handle those situations and a safe space with you to admit them and try again.

Raising children is a marathon, not a sprint, and you’re bound to get a charley horse or two along the way. What’s most important is that your children know how much you love them. Best of luck to you!

Mary Gagnon is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Clinical Development and Training Specialist at Health Affiliates Maine.

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Posted on by Author Hanna Gilleyin Categories Macaroni Kid, Q+ATagged , , , , ,

5 Ways to Prioritize Time Management into Your Practice

We know that your time is important to you, but are you using it to your advantage? When running your own practice, it’s easy to let time—and your ability to leverage it—get the better of you. To keep your business running smoothly, your clients’ appointments scheduled, and all your paperwork submitted on time, you need to incorporate a time management strategy.

Scheduling. Schedule your week so that each day has an equal (or nearly equal) amount of tasks and appointments that you can commit to. It’s also not realistic to schedule every hour of your work day to be productive. Plan some time each day for distractions, breaks, or small moments of whatever brings you joy. These moments of “non-productivity” can oftentimes be moments of great inspiration and renewal.

Boundaries. Although you want to “do it all” and often try, the effort most likely leaves you feeling defeated, stressed, and uninspired. In order to do your best work and serve the clients who depend on us, it’s necessary to work on creating boundaries. Create office hours and stick to them. Resist answering emails or phone calls immediately (and certainly not if you’re on vacation!). When you respect your time, others will too. 

Chunking or Grouping. It may be a silly name, but chunking or grouping is simply putting all of your tasks together by type of task or project. Then dedicate chunks of time on your calendar to work on that specific set of tasks. This helps to eliminate the dreaded multi-tasking that we all try to do (but which never truly works).

Incorporating self-care. Let’s nip this in the bud now—self-care isn’t selfish and it doesn’t “take up time.” Incorporating self-care into your schedule helps to create a work-life balance, clear your mind or make you feel better, which all ultimately helps you work more effectively and to a higher standard.

Task prioritization. During those times where it seems like you have a thousand things to do and not enough time to do them, task prioritization is the answer. There are several different methods out there, so finding which one works best for you may take some trial and error.

The ABCDE method is simple yet effective. Make a list of all your tasks and responsibilities. Then sort them using the parameters below. You can use this method for daily, weekly and monthly tasks.

  • A – highest priority tasks
  • B – medium priority tasks
  • C – low priority tasks
  • D – delegate tasks to another person
  • E – eliminate task

The GTD or “Getting Things Done” method is slightly more complex but worth the effort. After you have established all of your tasks, you then sort them using a “decision tree” to put them in their proper place.

With each task, ask yourself:

  • Is this task actionable?
    • No? Throw in the trash or file for later if it’s a reference or a resource
    • Yes? Determine which “pile” it should belong in.
      • Right away: If you can complete the task in under two minutes
      • Waiting for: if you’ve delegated the task to someone else
      • Next action: if you don’t have to finish actions with multiple tasks right away
      • Calendar: if your task has a deadline, always add it to the calendar

 

It may take a while to figure out which tools work best for you, but when it comes to running your own practice, efficient tools of time management are the secret key. As you manage your time within your business, remember that it’s all about balance and growth. Recognize what works for you today and realize that it may change as your business changes.

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Posted on by Author Kayla Quesnelin Categories Advice for Affiliates

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